Some people shouldn't be allowed to drive

This morning I was driving to work. Sure, it was my first morning doing the whole St. Louis - IL drive, but still. It's just the interstate. It's the same no matter what time of day. Yeah, there were a few more cars this morning, but get over it people. Just keep on moving. This morning, I'm following this SUV to get to the interstate. I notice that the woman driving the SUV is a little timid, and I realize that it could be a long 1/2 mile to the interstate, but not nearly enough time to get around her. I just cranked up the radio and dealt with the situation. Well, we're on the on-ramp, ready to merge into traffic and she STOPS ON THE ON-RAMP! Where the hell are you from, crazy lady?!?! You don't just STOP on the on-ramp and wait to merge!! Hell no! You slap that blinker on and just get in there. Don't be shy, they'll scoot over for you. We were seriously stopped on the on-ramp for over 2 minutes. That's just crazy talk. It was 7:45 on Tuesday morning after a 3 day weekend. Sure, the traffic was a bit nuts, but just get in there! The 13 (no, seriously, that's not an exaggeration, I was 2nd in a line of 13 cars. We were stopped so long I had time to count them.) cars behind me were honking like maniacs, so much so that IIIIII was starting to feel guilty, as if it was my fault the woman was a terrible merger. She finally starts moving, and I, being the smart driver I am, just got right on her bumper and followed her into the merge lane. I go to pass her ASAP, about 3 seconds after merging onto the interstate, and she's ON HER CELL PHONE!!!! How annoying is that? Not only is she a bad driver, but she was made that much worse by talking on her cell phone. People like that should not be allowed to have drivers licenses, much less cell phones.

It's hard not to laugh. Really, it is.

You know those moments where a really funny thing happens, but its not appropriate to laugh because you might hurt someone's feelings? Like when someone trips, and acts like it never happens, or when a person falls and actually suffers a mild injury, so you feel bad and don't laugh. Well, this Labor Day brought a similar incident. We had the whole family over for a barbeque, and it was kinda crazy, because of course there were a bunch of rugrats running around, so the moms and grandma were running around trying to get the kids their food and keep them from suffering bodily harm at the hands of another child. In all of the mayhem, my aunt was fixing a plate for one of the kids, and was hurrying to rush it outside to the kiddie table so she could start fixing a plate for one of the other kids. I was just watching it all unfold, talking to a couple cousins outside on the patio, and I hear what sounds like a scuffle. I turn around, and my aunt is inside, on the other side of the screen and looks a little dazed. Next thing I know, people are asking her if she's alright, and I'm wondering what the heck happened. Turns out, in her haste to serve the kids, she ran smackdab into the screen door and fell backwards. Hahahahaha it was soooooo funny. How do you run into a screen door? It's not like its clear. It's a black screen. It was broad daylight. How does that happen? It was so incredibly hard not to laugh, but at the same time, she looked a little shook up, so I was able to hold in the laughter. Luckily I only heard it happen, and didn't actually see it, or else I may not have been able to contain my laughter. It was definitely a labor day to remember.

I missed blogging!

It's true. Who knew that I would miss this part of Europe too? I mean, I knew I would miss Europe, but I didn't think I would miss the part of Europe where we had to find internet access, pay for it or wait in an hour long line, and then get 15 minutes on a computer with a foreign keyboard and most words on the screen written in another language. But alas, I do.

OK, here's my thought for the day. It's really more of a story, but hey, it's our blog, I can do whatever I want with it.

I had this patient today. An 87 year old guy, super cute, HILARIOUS, and this guy just plain made my day. He was diabetic with heart problems, but he and his wife of 68 years eat out every day for every meal. There was no way in hell he was going to follow any diet I gave him, but he told me that right away, and we reached a quick understanding. Anyway, we're talking about his wife, because clearly, as a dietitian, I need to know all about his wife and how long they've been married. But this guy was just too cute; I had to ask. Anyway, he proceeds to tell me that he and his wife had "so much fun" the first two years they were married before they had kids. And I quote, "We did some crazy stuff, but I tell ya what, I look back on those years and just smile. I don't regret any of it for a minute." I smile and say, "Well, I'll keep that in mind, and I'll make sure to keep having fun." We continue with our convo and I try to fit in some quick tidbits about diabetes and heart disease. I failed, but hey, I tried.

As I get ready to leave, I give him my office number and tell him to give me a call if he has any diet-related questions. He says, "What do I do if your husband answers and I tell him I want to talk to my girlfriend?" I just laughed and said, "Well that's my office number. And if I had a husband and he answered my office phone, we'd deal with that situation, but since I don't have a husband, I think you'll be OK." Confusion across patient's face... "What about your 2 kids?"

WHAT?!?

I promptly inform him that I have no kids, contrary to his belief, and that I'm still young so I've got PLENTY of time before I need to be married and have kids. His answer, "Well you just be sure not to miss your train, because as soon as that whistle blows, it'll just be too late. You don't want to miss your ride."

Thank goodness he stopped short of trying to set me up with his grandson. Because that just gets awkward. Some people may get offended by this guy. Not me. I could NOT stop laughing. I mean, I saw this guy over 8 hours ago, and he still is cracking me up. I think I'm going back to see him tomorrow, just so he can tell me another story. And seriously, how often does an almost 90 year old guy tell you that YOU'RE not getting any younger. How much better can you get?

So I don't know if there's a thought for the day in there or not. If there is, let's make it "Don't miss your train, because once that whistle blows, it'll just be too late. You don't want to miss your ride." Well said, Mr. Cute Patient, well said.

Thought for the day Blog

Since we gained such wide readership with our Europe blog, Wessel and I have decided to start a new blog of our own. While we were in grad school, we crafted a bunch of funny emails and sent them to all of our friends, and they were a big hit. So after we graduated, we decided to send each other our funny thoughts over email since we couldn't do it in person any more. We've just been saving them on our computers until one day we have enough to make a book out of them. Then we decided it's a bit of a waste to just save them and not let anyone else read them. Um, hello, we are pretty funny, and since we have been cracking ourselves up with our emails, we decided we could share them with you. So, here you go. Feel free to post any funny thoughts/stories of your own. We may even mention you in the acknowledgements of our future book. Don't you feel special? I thought so.